The Miss Adventures of D.T. In the D.R.
It all started with a three hour drive from Austin to Dallas Texas threw driving rain, at time traffic was going as slow as forty miles an hour on this major Highway. Here I was with white knuckles saying over and over "got to get to Black Beards, got to get to Black Beards"
About half way to Dallas the clouds broke and the speeds went up and in what seemed like no time I was coming into Dallas. My GPS was right on and the only problem was she kept telling me to keep right on an left side exit.
Only made four wrong turns but the GPS babe would recounted and I'd be on my way again.
I saw a sign that said DFW airport and my lady never said a peep so knowing from the reviews of my hotel I knew you could see the airport from the parking lot I took the exit. Bad mistake.
This exit took me to D.F.W airport alright, it took me strait into airport parking(no exit). When I told booth dude I wanted to go to my hotel and not to airport parking so he hands me a ticket and points to a turn around that was across about five lanes of traffic. I took off crossing these lanes and it seems everyone could see I was on a mission because they were honking and waving at me out their windows telling me I was number one!
With all of this encouragement I made it to the uturn one to see more booths like the one that the helpful man who gave me the ticket was in, I pulled up and handed an equally nice lady my freshly printed ticket only to be told I owed her one dollar....what for turning around?
Thinking to myself what the fuck I'm on vacation so I pay the nice lady a dollar thinking to myself that if I had listened to the GPS lady I could have kept George Washington for a little wile longer.
I finally get to my hotel that I had gotten from expedia.com after reading the review saying that "this woman was going room to room and it was obvious that she was a prostitute
I somehow knew that this was the hotel for me.
Got to the hotel brought my bags in and then went to a steak house so I could eat a steak before I left Texas.
Munched my steak and went back to my hotel so I could crash until my wake up call at 2:30 am so I could get to the airport at 3:30am for my 5:45am flight.
All systems were go and I took a shower and got into bed...in no time I was dreaming of Black Beards girls bouncing in the air when my phone ringing wakes be up. I answer it and it's C.E.O telling how jazzed up he is about this trip and the party.
I get off of the phone and for the rest of the night I was doomed to laying there and looking at the clock going in slow motion.
(I think C.E.O did the on propose because of me fucking with him on the board)
I guess the moral to this part of the story is "don't fuck with C.E.O"
So the clock finally said 3:30 am and I get up and shower, grab my bags, go to the front desk and waited for my shuttle to the airport.
Finally something was right because my shuttle was early.
Got to the airport dragging my baggage behind me ( blew out one of the wheels)
Up to the American Airlines counter only to see the signs...open at 4:30am
Waited until they opened checked my bag walked to the TSA line only to see the sign....open at 5:00am
Waited for them to open put my iPad in a tub, put my sandals and glasses in a second tub and my carry on bag in a third tub. Walked in and out of the scanner without the flashing red light going off and walked over to the conveyor belt looking for my stuff.
Waiting with this other guy standing there we could see that the belt had stopped and they were calling a supervisor over to look at something on the X-ray screen
I joke with this guy saying that I hoped it was his stuff they were looking at,
Guess what….it was mine not his.
Off to secondary screening with two guards and my stuff all because of the poker cards and chips came in a medal case that looked like something bad on the X-ray.
They finally let me go and no Ralphie, they did not use the latex glove.
I had to hurry to my gate to catch my plane that I was two hours early for.
I get to Miami and start calling Gordi so we can hang out and maybe eat a Cuban wile waiting for our POP flight. Gordie was just a voicemail recording over and over so I ate a Cuban by myself and boarded the plane without meeting him.
The plane was early arriving, paid my $10.00 tourist fee and yelled out
"Let the games begin" a cheer went up at the luggage carousel because let's face it...everyone here was going to get laid this week
I clear Customs and after telling the guy that grabbed my bags for the fifty feet walk to the taxi stand Four times i could Handel them myself I walked outside only to see number 12 (Miguel) standing there waiting to take me to Valhalla.
I started looking around asking every guy there if they were Gordie.
I looked and looked and finally thought he had missed the flight so me and Metal start to walk to his van and I notice a cute lady following us and sure enough she was coming with us. Even when Miguel said "she lives on the way" I knew it was one of his little scams"
I say scams but this scam was cool because she was hot and I thought to myself this is a scam I could live with!!!
We load up and take off stopping at another little booth with a nice man that took a ticket from Miguel (these booths are every wear) and Miguel paid the nice man and we were off.
We get a half mile from the airport (almost three wreaks) and guess who calls..Gordie we turn around go back to the airport passing the nice man in the booth and pull up to the same spot we were asking everyone if they were Gordie and here he was.
We load him in with me in the front seat and Gordie in the back with the scam girl and we were off. Gordie starts talking with this lady and Miguel states rather sternly to Gordie ( easy she is no prostitute)...more on this later
We go to Sousa so Gordie can checking to his room at ............. And when he gets there him and Miguel jump out of the van and leave me with this young hottie.
I use up all of my Spanish in about two minutes and then we just sat there looking at each other smiling. Geordie is taking forever so I did the only thing I could think of and broke out some chocolate from my bags and fed it to this girl.
Gordman finally comes back to the van and by this time I sweating like a pig and all I want to do is get to Black Beards and take a shower and maybe a nap so I could get ready for the first twenty something lady to start to jump up and down on me.
We take off and head to pop and get almost to town when all of the traffic comes to a dead stop and up ahead we can hear people yelling and we can see smoke rising into the air. Miguel pulled his piece and loads the chamber.
Normally I don't like for my cab drivers to have a loaded gun on his lap but I have to admit it was scary not knowing what was up ahead.
I made Miguel put a hand Towel over the pistol and we slowly inched our way up to the commotion, just when we got to the two groups of people yelling at each other from across the street these two army trucks pull up from the other direction and these troops with AK47's jump out and push the two groups back long enough for us to pass.
I tell Miguel I am hot and tired and need a shower and he make a quick turn and says "we make one stop first" we pull up to this amber jewelry store and just when I about to go off on Miguel and tell him I'm not falling for this I look up to see Gordie walking in the door. I thought to myself Miguel is just trying to make a buck and also thinking they have AC in there I go in myself.
We take the two moment tour of the area that the make the Jewelry and the we are whisked to the cigar part of the store, Then it was on to the jewelry cases. We look around and Gordie starts picking out some that he like and I find a piece that I want to get my steady trick back home (picture in American section)
I hammer this guy on the price and we haggle over the last five dollars of the price and after we agree on the price he say that for ten dollars more I could have the chain....what no chain included in price or I walk I say and take a couple of steps to the door and like magic the chain was included in the price.
Geordie bought a few peaces and we got back into the van. He gave a necklace to the scam girl and the next thing you know Miguel is asking Gordie if he wants to see her to night.....wow she just started her new job as an entertainer really quick...wink wink nod nod.
Next installment Black Beards.Linkback: http://ifoundthechicas.com/new-members-info-section-also-how-to-post-a-trip-reports-new-members/103/the-miss-adventures-of-d-t-in-the-d-r/2167/